My iPhone has conveniently decided to start self destructing just in time for the new model to hit the market. Coincidence? I think not. However, that is not why I have gathered you here today. While doing my research on what is different about the new model, I was introduced to the most important invention in world history. And no, I'm not talking about the camera that looks like an electric stove top from 1970. Forget the wheel, forget sliced bread, because ladies and gentlemen, we now have PET PORTRAIT MODE.
Listen, Apple knows what they're doing. Launching a new way to take pet pictures just in time to dress them up for Halloween is GENIUS. I've attached a picture of my precious angel of a dog, Harley, chewing a stick that I took in regular portrait mode to give a perfect example of how good we already had it. If this phone can make my dog look cuter than he already does, which I am skeptical is even possible, then go ahead and take all of my money. I'm sold.