Doritos Tease Chance Of 'Lady Doritos', BREAKING People Are Pissed

I feel like I make some of the worst decisions of all time. That being said how do you make this big of a mistake?? How do you think saying any of this in 2016,17,18 is going to fly?? 

Thinking positive though this is my excuse to not having a girlfriend. I am a REAL BIG fan of chips. A 'Big chip guy' if you will. Ever since I got the night gig in Detroit I probably eat 3/4 bags of chips a night. Before you get all “woahhh Joe easy on the chips bro you’re going to gain weight’. Ugghhhh ya think I don’t know that?? That’s why I’ve been trying to start a diet the past four months. Anyways, I mostly cheez its but sometimes I will dabble in the occasional Dorito. 

So now when my mom asks why I still don’t have anyone to spend time with I have a new excuse. Not because I am a terrible communicator. Not because I am not the best with the whole ‘compassion’ thing. Not because I live with my parents. No, the reason is because I crunch my Doritos.

P.s. lady Dorito is a crazy nickname. Going to call Ciara that now.

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