As the resident Channel 955 Taylor Swift stan, I’m here to do my sworn duty and provide you with, what is in my opinion, a definitive ranking of each track on the musical masterpiece that is her seventh studio album, Lover. It is so powerful that one second you’ll be crying so hard your eyes don’t work and the next you’ll be twerking on the roof of your car. There is no in between. Before I begin, please note that this album is my favorite thing that Taylor has ever done and I would rank every. single. track. as number one if that was how life worked. I’m sure this list will change in literally five minutes, but until then, here ya go:
Don’t get me wrong, this song is a certified bop and I almost cried the first three times I heard it. It would probably be higher if the internet didn’t bully “Hey Kids! Spelling is fun!” off of the album version, but that’s neither here nor there.
#17- False God
The saxophone at the beginning of this track is enough to send you to another planet but it doesn’t QUITE feel like Taylor.
This song is truly great but it is the last track on the album and I’m rarely ever in the car long enough to get to it.
#15- It’s Nice To Have A Friend
This one is significantly shorter than the rest on the album. Less content = lower on the list.
I usually forget this song exists until it starts playing, but once it does you better believe I put on an entire overdramatic performance.
#13- The Archer
Taylor always puts the most emotionally raw and vulnerable song as track five on each of her albums, and this one does not disappoint. With that being said, it comes after four straight bangers and turns the listening experience very dark very quick.
#12- You Need To Calm Down
I am HERE for woke Taylor.
#11- Soon You’ll Get Better
I started crying the first time I heard this song and I haven’t stopped since. It would easily make the top five if it weren’t for the emotional turmoil it causes.
#10- Cornelia Street
There is A LOT of debate among Swifties about this song. Some people think it’s the best song Taylor has ever written and some think it doesn’t live up to the hype. I think it falls perfectly in the middle.
#9- Death By A Thousand Cuts
Once you get past the cold sweats from imagining the trauma of getting a thousand paper cuts, this song is incredible and has arguably the best songwriting on the entire album.
If you’ve ever wanted to feel like you were playing with puppies on a pink cotton candy cloud, listen to this song. The “old Taylor” is BACK.
#7- I Forgot That You Existed
*cough cough Calvin Harris cough cough*
#6- London Boy
Prepare for these lyrics to become the insta caption for every single person who ever goes to London from here on out.
#5- The Man
This song is my official comment to everyone who says they “don’t like Taylor Swift’s attitude” or that she “only dates guys to write songs about them”.
#4- Cruel Summer
The way she says "he looks up grinning like a devil" deserves a Grammy all on its own. If this song is not the next single I am rioting.
#3- Paper Rings
The vibe of this song is an entire universe away from what you’d expect and that makes it EVERYTHING.
#2- I Think He Knows
When I say this album makes you twerk on top of cars, this is the song I’m talking about.
#1- Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince
The songwriting. The Vocals. The metaphors. The random cheerleader interjections. ALL SO PERFECT.