Selena Gomez has opened up to Vogue about her rehab stint last year, saying that going there was "the best thing" for her.
The singer said, "People so badly wanted me to be authentic, and when that happened, finally, it was a huge release. I'm not different from what I put out there. I've been very vulnerable with my fans, and sometimes I say things I shouldn't. But I have to be honest with them. I feel that's a huge part of why I'm where I am."
The former Disney star checked into rehab last October to "focus on her mental health," and canceled the 34 remaining dates on her Revival world tour.
She said, "Tours are a really lonely place for me. My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting on stage or right after leaving the stage. Basically I felt I wasn't good enough, wasn't capable. I felt I wasn't giving my fans anything, and they could see it — which, I think, was a complete distortion."
Selena says she was so used to performing for kids, but then her audience grew up. She said, "Suddenly I have kids smoking and drinking at my shows, people in their 20s, 30s, and I'm looking into their eyes, and I don't know what to say. I couldn't say, 'Everybody, let's pinky-promise that you're beautiful!' It doesn't work that way, and I know it because I'm dealing with the same s--t they're dealing with..."
She added, "I wasn't figuring my own stuff out, so I felt I had no wisdom to share. And so maybe I thought everybody out there was thinking, 'This is a waste of time.'"
During her rehab stay, Selena avoided all social media. She said, "As soon as I became the most followed person on Instagram, I sort of freaked out. It had become so consuming to me. It’s what I woke up to and went to sleep to..."
Today, she lives in an Airbnb rental, she doesn't have the app on her phone and doesn't even know the password. She said, “I think 17 people have my phone number right now. Maybe two are famous."
Source: US Weekly